We all have them! I obviously choose to put myself out there in being so active in my online presence, whether that be on social media or my blog. That does not mean that I don’t have insecurities. Sometimes it means that I’m more aware of them because I’m putting myself out there.
I am about to tell you all about one of my insecurities that troubles me daily but I choose daily to not let it hold me back.
If you read my peak week series in the lead up to my comp, you’ll have read about my horrendous experience with hair removal. Well, this is another one of those stories…
Ever since I was little I have always had a lot of arm hair. I was bullied a lot for it at school being called names like ‘gorilla’ etc. Even when I changed school at the age of 15, I was still bullied for it. Kids can be cruel. As I grew up, I noticed that other people didn’t comment anymore and even when I mentioned it they’d say ‘oh they aren’t that bad’ or ‘I hadn’t even noticed’ So even though I was super conscious about my arm hair and felt like it was part of my identity, as an adult it did not affect those around me at all. Due to how much I was bullied for it as a child I always told myself I would never get rid of it as it was part of who I was. I wasn’t about to let the bullies win and be ashamed of what was part of me. This stopped being an insecurity of mine and just part of who I was.
That was until enter a bodybuilding competition this year. I was advised to remove my arm hair as it would help with my tan and my muscular definition. So in February I decided to get ahead of the game and remove my arm hair then. Rather than waxing or shaving I chose to use a hair removal cream. I figured it was easy to use in the comfort of my home and the results would last for a few weeks. I used the Nair sensitive skin removal cream. I opted for the sensitive option to ‘play it safe’…
I performed a skin test as advertised on some skin on the inside of my arm. No problemo. Then I went on to try and rid myself of all of my arm hair. I followed the instructions to the letter. I didn’t leave the product on too long, only for the amount of time it told me to. When I started to remove the cream, my skin felt like it was being ripped off with it. I was in excruciating pain. The cream had burned all of the skin on my arms. I had actual burns from this product and it hadn’t even removed all of the hair. So I had patchy hair on my arms and burns.
I had to go to work that evening and it hurt so much just moving my arms. In the few days that followed, my skin was so dry and sore that I was having to constantly apply sudocrem and take pain killers just to get through the day.
That was February and my skin has never been the same. I have scars from the burns up my arms. My arms are ALWAYS dry and I’ve never had dry skin problems and I’m drinking so much more water than normal now with all of my training. Also, as the hair grows it brings through spots and blemishes which then end up scarring. The hairs grow through ingrown, leaving me with scars.
So now my arms are still my insecurity, just for a different reason. I love the shape of my arms now through my training it’s just a shame that I feel so insecure about how they look due to the spots and scarring as a result of using the Nair cream.
This is the first time I’m sharing this with most of you as I tend to shoot in a way to hide these scars and blemishes. My scars are worse on my right arm, so I tend to shoot so that that arm isn’t the focus or in focus in the frame. It isn’t that I’ve been hiding it, I just chose not to focus on it.
There we have it. We all have insecurities but I’m consciously choosing to not let mine stop me doing what I want to do. To many, this may not seem like a big deal but to me it’s huge and its like that for most people I’m sure.
Don’t let anything stop you from going after what you want!
(Just never use Nair sensitive hair removal cream haha!)
P.s. Why do all of my dramas seem to revolve around hair removal?!