I have posted before about ‘choosing happiness‘ but I recently had a conversation with a very good friend of mine about the importance of looking after your own happiness.
It is so important to look after your own happiness to then be able to be truly selflessly happy for others. It’s a bit like the saying ‘you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else’. When you start looking after your own happiness you can be fully supportive and happy for others without the element of competition. We should be supporting each other and growing together.
When talking to people and catching up with friends/family you haven’t seen in a while it can be so easy to get caught up and compete to prove who is happier. It isn’t a competition and when you realise that, a weight will be lifted and you’ll stop trying to prove and convince everyone that you’re happy and instead you’ll just actually BE happy!
So it’s time to be selfish and focus on you. Find what makes you happy and do it, it may take some time, it won’t happen overnight but one day it will just click and you’ll wonder why you’ve never taken the time to work it out before. People are always going on about Mindfulness and it is easy to go ‘ugh, not for me thats just a fancy word for meditating and I’m not into that’. When you realise that that is not what it’s all about and that trying to live life mindfully is actually really important and a gateway to your own happiness and looking after that, you’ll feel great!
Here are a few of my tips on trying to live mindfully:
- Focus on YOU! What makes you truly happy?
- Take time out to relax, away from your phone, away from social media. Whether it’s just chilling with your favourite tea, or diving into your favourite book for 5minutes or 5hours. If it feels good, do it!
- Surround yourself with good people and good energy. It’s okay to remove yourself from toxic friendships if they’re taking away your happiness.
- Is what you’re doing making you happy? no? Stop doing it!
- Get outside. Take a walk in a park, go for a run, sit in the garden for five minutes. It is amazing what some fresh air can do!
- Maybe find a new hobby, or get back into something you once loved. An activity that is all about you and doing it makes you happy!
I am by no means saying that I am a master of mindfulness or that these things will instantly make you happy. What I am saying is you need to look after your happiness and put yourself first to do so!
Here is what I am NOT advocating…
- Do not intentionally ruin someone else’s happiness for the sake of your own
- Do not spend your life just trying to please other people. You will NEVER please everyone. Once you realise that, you will be able to breathe a little easier and do what makes you happy.
Three things I try to live by:
Inhale the good, exhale the bad. Surround yourself with good people. Try to live each day mindfully.